what donna said…

“How do we present ourselves as women? What are we asking? Are we asking for it by presenting all the sensuality and all the sexuality?”


Donna Karan


That’s what Donna said, and the discussion about sexual harassment, and what it has or hasn’t got to do with sexuality and what women wear, has just heated up to scorcher level.

While I find it really repugnant, this endless picking at what women should and should not do, I can’t leave it alone, because it’s a topic that’s too important to gloss over. 

Walker Thornton

I can’t stay away from discussing it and either can my friend, Walker. Let me introduce you to Walker Thornton

“Sex Goddess, published author, avid reader, grandmother… all labels that work to begin defining me. Lover of bourbon, woman finding her voice, growing older with audacity. For starters…

Divorced, single and slightly over-educated, I came to this work through my lifelong love of writing. Writing for me is a personal journey as well as a tool to inspire, inform, and educate others.  In my writing I explore sexuality, relationships, women’s (and men’s) sexual health, aging and other midlife topics.”


For the next week, Walker and I are going to have a discussion, here, on my zine. Please join us as we ask questions of each other, and ask your own questions, disagree, discuss.

My first question to Walker:

“Why do we, as human beings, men and women, need to express our sexuality outwardly, with clothes, grooming, makeup, etc.?”

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modest fashion


“Modest Fashion”

On the streets at NYFW this year, there were more young, modestly dressed women, ready to pose for pictures, than I had ever seen before. 

Something though, seemed wrong to me. It’s not that I think there’s anything wrong with posing for a picture, it’s that doing so goes against my idea of modesty. 

There’s showyness to what I thought was supposed to be humble, this religiously invoked way to go out into the world as a woman. 

The shinyness of her dress, the very “on trend” Supreme fanny pack, the bracelets, the shoes, do not say modest to me. 


I have always thought that modesty would include a kind of humble simplicity? If I wasn’t exactly expecting sackcloth, neither did I expect glitter, gloss, heels, and makeup, but those are all things I have seen modest dressers wearing.   

Then I remember, wealth is acceptable everywhere, and women in Saudi Arabia wear Gucci and Prada beneath their burqa.

For now, I’ll just call this a paradox created by men.

In “traditional” cultures, men are the ones who purchase the Prada and diamonds,

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what the heart wants

Me and My Blue Monster

Written by Leslie Coff, artist, writer, and friend of Look For The Woman. 


I try to be conservative in my dress. I do.

After having lived many years in the land of self-expression – and many other years in the American South, which is all about big florals and bright colors…and big big big…

I am now in the land of the lumberjack. Plaid plaid plaid. And flannel. And North Face. And low-key.

I have tried to fit in. I have done my best… Seriously.

But you know how life is. The heart wants what the heart wants.

I fell in love with a monster. A big blue one. And he’s absolutely gorgeous.


I cannot help myself. It isn’t just his large, expressive eyes, his carefully whitened teeth and soft blue lips.

It is his fur.  

Yes, I have heard that fur is all the rage.

Beautiful exciting furs in crayon colors.

But you know…I am no spring chicken.

I am an autumn chicken. I am a fine wine, slightly oakey with a bit of spice.

I am a rosé.  

Wait – I am a cobalt bottle sake.

Heck, I am a full-out Dolcetto.  


And not too old to have fun.

Because…you know….Iris Apfel.


Sure, judge me if you must.  

Tell me that I am too old…that it is too crazy…that blue fur is just not my thing.

But I promise…you cannot judge me more harshly than I judge myself.

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better cotton, better clothes

“Recycling vintage denim, sourcing sustainable cotton, and improving wash processes from start to finish, are just some of the ways that Gap is working to make denim that looks good and feels good, inside and out.”


The Good News

Right next door to the Gap store on Fifth Avenue, is a small pop-up shop also belonging to Gap. It’s filled with denim, all denim, seriously good denim.

In last week’s rather bleak post about shopping fast fashion, I promised you some good news in the future. Well here it is.


Our old friend Gap, is stepping up its game.

“100% of Gap’s cotton will come from more sustainable sources by 2021.” That’s the word of the CEO, and to read more about this initiative go here.

It’s clear, slow fashion and sustainability are here and they’re here to stay, and that’s a really good thing for all of us. You know that’s true, when American staples like Gap see the benefits of what once may have been considered a passing trend.

That means that sustainability is a process that we can all participate in now.

It’s Gap after all, it’s not some exclusive, niche brand, accessible only to those who vacation on St. Barts. 

You can make the choice today, to buy new jeans made with cotton grown conventionally and manufactured conventionally, or not.  

Inevitably, brands will give us what we ask for.



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