look for the woman
“One is not born, but rather becomes, a woman.”
― Simone de Beauvoir, The Second Sex
Behold the selfie. The lighting is terrible, I chop off the top of my head, I have a wooden bowl full of socks and stuff in the picture, I don’t center things correctly, and can I just say, the makeup is unjust. Sometimes, over these past few blogging years, I have doubted the wisdom of the blog’s name.
People still think it’s a dating site, I get friend requests from various odd men from far flung locations, and I get subscribed to by some shady characters.
Nevertheless, I’m still looking for the woman and the name seems more appropriate than ever. I, like many of you, am looking for women leaders, the ones in the crowd that speak truth to power. I’m looking for women I can collaborate with on professional and personal projects to remain relevant.
I’m looking for the strength in myself to let go when I need to, to resist when I have to.
The good news is that, though it’s hard, I’m finding those things.
Who hasn’t felt the need to curl up in a ball and hide under the covers lately?
I’m finding the woman in celebrities like Ashley Judd and Elizabeth Warren. I’m finding camaraderie with the woman on social media and friends who write late-night emails to ask, “Was I right?” And I recently found the woman in a young entrepreneur with whom I’m going to start collaborating.
I’m also finding the woman in the mirror, the one with more strength than I once imagined. That’s where the mirror comes in. For all of the weird, self-defeating, unproductive, and narcissistic aspects of the fake self–love that are selfies, I’ve found the whole process to be both therapeutic and grounding.
slow fashion, fast women
You may have noticed, Look for the Woman has a new face. With help from my friend Marion, we changed the banner, including my tagline. Slow fashion is still my passion and that’s not going away. But what do I mean by “fast women”?
The fast woman is the woman I’m writing for.
The term “fast” was used to label a woman as promiscuous, but I think we all know she was always much more than that. She embraced an eagerness to experience all of life without conventional boundaries. She wore pants, smoked cigarettes, and left home before anyone else did.
Today, to me, fast women embody feminism, politics, business — and meaning business. We’re about living well and being strong. We’re about style and substance and quality over quantity. We’re working women whether we have a job or not.
We are aging and concerned about ageism. We are honest about ourselves. We’ve taken some hard knocks.
We read serious books, wear safety pins, and know we are part of a global whole. We still have just as many questions as we do answers. If you’re here, you’re liberal-minded, more than just a bit angry, and you mean to be heard. You’re a fast woman. Thanks for making time for this blog!
Let me know what you think of the new look…
I just read a wonderful book, The Lioness In Winter, by Ann Burack -Weiss. At the beginning of the book, she writes about Joan Didion’s late life regrets and how they resonate with her.
“Among the great tragedies of Didion’s life—the deaths of husband and only child—she mourned the loss of four-inch heels with cashmere leggings, the gold hoop earrings. Of course. Who but another old lady could understand that?”
If you love women writers, literature, and want to read honest accounts of women and aging, read the book. I promise you’ll love it, and please let me know what resonates with you.
kindred spirit, the accidental icon
Sometimes you’re lucky enough to meet kindred spirits. It’s rare, but it’s oh-so-sweet when it happens. It seems you can’t search for kindred spirits, in fact you must not search for them! But they’re out there; and they just come along in their own time. In the past couple of months I’ve met two women, entirely different from each other, who are nonetheless my kindred spirits. Why? Because they’re doing things their own way.
The first of the two is the Accidental Icon. Let’s call her Lyn, because that’s her name. Please check out her really great—almost revolutionary—blog here. Why revolutionary? Well for one, the first thing that strikes the eye is that the blog is in black and white. Black and white! Just this alone puts the Accidental Icon in a class by herself. By making the decision to forego color, she may have broken a cardinal rule of blogging. Popular opinion, at least, appears to be that a blog must have color and lots of it. So much for that!