“What worries me is that the pressure on women to appear sexual gets confused with being sexual.”
That’s an idea Walker Thornton brought up in the last post, and that really struck me. I can understand her concern, women putting more time into looking sexy and not enough time into actually enjoying their sexual selves, seems senseless.
Ideally though, I’d say that dressing should be a part of the sensual experience of life and an adjunct to sexual expression, that may or may not lead to actual sex.
I’m not just talking about wearing sexy lingerie in the boudoir. And I’m certainly not talking about the endless, baring, squeezing, waxing, tweezing, and painting rigmarole the end product of which people often call “sexiness.”
I’m talking about saying something about who you are as a woman with your whole self; including intellect, body, grooming, makeup, use of scent, gestures, walk, talk everything.
For me, this well-known picture by Helmut Newton embodies all of that. Maybe I’m just buying into the fantasy, but if I saw this woman walking down the street, I would think, “there goes a really sexy and sensual person.”
Why can’t women have both, why can’t we be both physically sexy and happily sexual, and comfortable with both?
Society at large seems to fear the sexy, sexual woman, especially as she ages. I really want to understand the wider repercussions of this, I want to understand what older women have to teach the world about being human.